Commuter Racing

The first rule of commuter racing is - be cool! Its not a race. So even if you're plodding along Jamaica Road, Bermondsey heading towards London Bridge and someone cruises up alongside you - ignore them. Well done, that's very sensible. Let them go. There's no need for competitive nonsense in December when you're unfit and certainly not while you're commuting.

What about just monitoring his pace from a distance? mmm...its a narrow path your riding on, take care or you'll get sucked in. Put that competitiveness on ice; seriously he ain't worth it. Hopefully he'll be gone and you won't meet this person again. What if at the next set of lights you snake you're way around large delivery trucks, buses and other stationary vehicles to get to the front and there he is waiting in that green patch of ground for cyclists only?

Again be cool, if you inject some urgency into your effort to stay close to him its over. You've lost - that means you're knowingly competing. Thats bad, very bad. Remember its not a race. Now... you could however cruise past him with an air of unassuming non swaggering indifference, and time it so that he gets caught at the next set of lights and hence you'll never have to see him again. If he's all cleated and lycra'd up (and he is) that makes it even better. One mile to go before London Bridge and you're close to his back wheel. What the heck are you doing? Let him go. Who cares if you're a 2nd cat. In the grand scheme of things what does it matter its nearly Christmas for fucks sake relax a bit!

Oh shit he's sensed your presence (which is really not cool) and is doing a Cancellara on ya. Alright cruise past but don't show any signs of heavy breathing...Oops too late he took the left turn at Evans Cycles. You can recover as you turn right across London bridge heading towards Liverpool Street Station. Once you've got your breath back refocus. Pretend it never happened. After all who's gonna know!

Office Christmas Party Rules

Do attend.
It was yesterday evening and I did indeed attend. Last year I didn't make it. Don't ask, long story. There are unconfirmed reports that a female member of staff sent a text to her boyfriend to get his car and look for a black guy possibly dressed in a Santa outfit riding a racing bike along the A322 near Bracknell.

Don’t dress inappropriately.
It was a standard shirt a jumper and slacks for me. One woman slightly north of fifty wore a revealing low cut sleeveless top. Just not a good look especially for a very short extremely over-weight lady whose arms flapped when she sneezed.

Do some schmoozing.
Effectively this means speaking to those people that are on the receiving end of your plastic smiles. You may also slow down if they're ahead of you queuing for train tickets. Its best that way so that you don't have to sit next to them on a train. I'm joking its never that bad. I got to speak to an old bloke who'd climbed the Himalayan mountains and a lady who rode last years Etape for the first time. She dropped her husband on the Tourmalet and did a significant amount of her training on a rowing machine. Someone else talked in great length about their pet lobster but then the conversation was cut short abruptly. All I said was, "do you 'breed'em to eat'em".

Don’t talk shop.
Nobody wants to talk shop so I tried to stay clear of work talk. It kinda happened inevitably though :-(

Don’t make a move on a colleague.
It wouldn't even cross my mind - I got Stephanie and Kylie! :-) The old bloke also had a partner and the rest of the staff bar one are all married. No Mistletoe action I'm afraid

Do watch your language.
I'm not too much of a swearer so there was little chance going blue in front of the boss. I was expecting things to get a bit 'industrial' but without Tequila slammers nothing even vaguely sinister materialised.

Don’t leave too soon.
I'm getting old so two hours is generally my limit on any social event which doesn't have a defined finishing time such as a film, theatre, watching sport etc. I managed to stay from 8 - 12.30pm which isn't bad

Above all, enjoy the party.
Have a good time without embarrassing yourself or anyone else. Now doesn't that sound like fun!

Oops I did it again!

I see on quite a few of the cycling forums a few people are finding it hard to motivate themselves to ride in this cold weather. I'm usually quite dismissive of people that suffer from this plight but I'm fast becoming a sympathiser. Take this morning for instance. The title of today's blog entry should read Arsenal-High Wycombe-Arsenal. A small matter of negotiating 72 miles and some change, mostly along the A40 in coldish but fair conditions.

Ordinarily it wouldn't be a problem but I couldn't be arsed. I couldn't be arsed probably because I didn't bother to ride yesterday. And I didn't ride yesterday because I didn't ride on Monday... OK you can see where this is going. Anyways I still did the journey. It was work so I had to. Instead though I did it in the comfy warmth of a Japanese Automobile. I felt kinda disloyal as I drove by a couple of cyclists huffing their way up Highgate Hill but a hot Mocha and a croissaint are the perfect anodyne for those pangs of guilt... All may not be lost however because I bravely rode the total of a mile to a friends house n' back tonight. The offer of a home cooked Indian meal was a bit too tempting. Come on now, I'm loosing fitness not my mind ;-)

Sunday Night/Monday Night

By Sunday morning I was almost back to my old self. Cycling-wise the day consisted of a couple of short commutes: in the morning work, Arsenal-Tottenham-Arsenal; in the evening Stephanie's house, Arsenal-Deptford-Arsenal. Total distance was probably 26 miles at a fairly comfortable pace. Thats not strictly true. Stephanie spiced things up in the last ten minutes of the commute to Sarf London by riding hard around some of Lewisham's back streets. I've told her with such good cornering skills once she's fit enough she's gonna love Crystal Palace.

Dudes I've got a confession to make. I head off for a three week holiday next Thursday so my motivation to ride is beginning to wane. Hence I stood Kylie (Turbo Trainer) up. I bet she looked resplendent lying there on the kitchen floor, glowing in that way only inanimate spinning objects can. Sadly she lost out to beer and Thai food.

Something for the weekend Sir!

er...Yes! Well how about a nice 24 hour bug thing with lovely servings of fever like symptoms, chills, body aches, diarrhea and vomiting? It wasn't very nice. Now how was Saturday for you?

Brrrr!!!!!

Shit today was cold! Despite layering up Michelin Man style there was still that one part of my body that I couldn't keep warm. My Toes. Yes, after just ten minutes riding time despite my thermal sports socks and booties me tootsies were frozen. Nevertheless the training agenda called for 120 minutes so that's what had to be done. I was pegged in at 53/19 and 90rpm, close to 20 mph average. Pushing things harder than that while gulping down icy air would only lead to a visit from my December nemesis. It often pops up a week or so after a cold and its a real bitch to shift; it waits patiently for those inevitable above threshold efforts and then often without warning starts its attack... Voila! By the end of the session you now have a permanent 'friend' to a accompany you on all your rides for the next two months - The Winter Cough. Enjoy!!!:-(

Its time to reminisce - put on your kangol hat and fat laced trainers..."Right Up To Ya Face And Diss You" :-)

It ain't over till its over

3 x 20 mins on the turbo (Kylie) requires a little bit of specialist attention. Its a slightly different beast from a nailed on 2 x 20. If you hit it too hard on the first interval you'll be floundering by the second and the 3rd twenty minute interval will be spent recovering on the sofa for the rest of the night.

In contrast if you go to easy you might as well be reading the paper and sipping a glass of wine. It should feel hard and the last twenty should just be manageable. I think I pitched it just right. The 'feelometer' register around 90% of my maximum effort. The turbo naturally warms up after 30 mins so things always feel a touch easier. To counter this I changed up the gears 53/17-53/15 to make sure I that I was still pushing hard on the pedals. It felt pretty good in the end so I reckon I'll try another one on Thursday or Friday.

Here's some footage from the first Road Stage (proper) of the 2007 TDF. Ladies and Gentlemen Robbie Mac (see 5 mins) is one bad muthafucker. Oh and look out for some little British Kid in Pink throwing a fit. Who would've guessed he'd win four stages in this years tour(08).

A day at the Races!

Steph and I decided to make Hog Hill (Redbridge Cycling Centre) our outward destination for Saturday's ride. I'm not sure Steph agrees but I tried to make it an interesting loop by circumnavigating some North?East London back streets (Hackney ) before we eventually headed out to Essex. We left around 11.30 and got to Hog Hill two hours later. The 3/4's and seperate women's race were already in full swing. Obviously I was really interested in the 3/4 race which featured Sylv and George
from my club Addiscombe CC but I also had an eye on the womens race which featured Liz from Eagle Road Club. She's a very strong rider and does the popular Regents Park loop with her boyfriend Chris.

The 3/4 bunch cruised by and George gave me the thumbs up. He looked like he was on a holiday camp. Sylv looked comfortable but not quite in the George 'stroll- along-the-beach' mode. The women rode by shortly after and Liz was part of a four girl front group which had pulled away from the rest; the group included two Dynamo girls and the eventual race winner. With there still being forty minutes to go Steph and I left them to it for a while and went to get warmed up and carbed up with coffee and cakes. I emerged back on to the circuit 10 minutes later and George being that claustrophobic young man he is decided he needed some fresh air. A tad early perhaps but as we all know he's far too strong and excitable to hang around for long. Behind him the chase was on. Jimmy from Economic Energy was chasing hard and behind him was David from Economic Energy and behind him was a guy in a Rapha top and then finally the bunch. A few laps later George had settled into full Jens Voight mode and had a 23 sec gap on the Economic Energy rider.




In the women's race Liz was dropped from the front group. The front three looked fairly comfortable, like they were on a club run, and I wondered if the two Dynamo girs would do the old one two to the other rider. Mmm

Back to George. "Toks get me a front wheel I've got a puncture", he shouts with 6 laps to go. Oh my gosh so much drama, fifteen minutes earlier the G-Man had the race comfortably sown up. Sure, the guy behind George was strong but George had him pegged at 20 secs and was definitely good for the win. According to the commissionaire George couldn't hava a lap out because there were now only 5 laps to go.



I got the wheel out of the George's wheel bag and gave it to Sylv to do the honours. As George crested the hill Jimmy from Economic Energy was right on top of him. While George and Sylv fiddled with the wheel change Jimmy took full advantage and raced by. I reckon he had around 25 seconds by the time George got going. David from Economic Energy was coming up fast behind George but I was confident he'd never catch George. With 4 laps to go I shouted out 12sec, (it was closer to 16) but I didn't want George to blow up trying to get him back. With three laps to go I shouted 7 secs (it was really 10). To be honest with you I didn't think George could do at this point but true to his Smiling Assassin credentials he must have surged on the penultimate lap and at the bell they both honked up the hill together.

With the girls things were pretty much as they were except Liz had dropped back a place to 5th position. The 3 up front would definitely be fighting it out for the win and Liz stood a good chance of 4th if she could stay with the girl just a few metres in front of her.

George knew he couldn't risk sprinting against Jimmy and jumped him hard just before the descent. On the windy curvy section George had a massive gap and it looked like job done. I was freezing my proverbial off on the sidelines with a big cheesy grin on my face. But then I couldn't believe it. The big gap George had was shrinking fast - Jimmy was coming back fast. George was clearly tiring. "sprint George" I shouted he's coming'. Sylv put out a max of 819watts on the climb, I reckon George musta been close to 1100 on that last blast up the climb. He dug deep and despite a great return by Jimmy beat him comfortably in the end by about six bike lengths...Liz got 4th spot in her first race ever. A great day at the races!













Thanks to ACC's Sylv and the fella from Idea-Beta.co.uk for the Race Pictures. The races took place back in August and September 2008.

Commuting Wars

A big shoutout to all the people literally 'steaming' in their mobile metal boxes on Friday morning. Yes at 8.30am on Harrow Road, West London it didn't look like a lot of fun for you car drivers. Apologies for looking particularly smug as I cruised past you all at a breezy 20mph. I was that skinny black guy on the road bike that at least two of you naughty so and so's tried to squeeze out of the inner lane just to gain a couple of feet on your destination - standstillville.

Despite me flashing my best cheesy smile I couldn't raise one back - you all looked so miserable. Oh, and if you were behind the wheel of that Black Audi Quattro what did that feel like. You know, when that bus infront of you suddenly put on his hazard lights. Unlike me you weren't able to instantly swerve past the big red number 18. ;-) Ha Ha serves you right for talking on your mobile and changin lanes without indicating...A warning to self though - don't gloat too much coz eventually you'll get yours. I punctured 2 miles later

There's no way you can ride!

Yesterday's goal - increase threshold power of course!
An hour of power turbo session, set at 90 RPM in 53/17. The
ride was punctuated every 15 minutes with 2-3 minute out of
the saddle recovery stomps. With the back door open and the
heating switched off the kitchen was so cold I didn't need
the fan on for the first twenty minutes.

The third consecutive day of threshold efforts has left me
with slightly sore knees (mmm... need to spin more, 100rpms
perhaps?) but cardiovascularly I felt pretty good. Today
there will be a no riding - off to bonny Scotland. :-)

Here's a little motivation and some food for you 'haters'



Now are you going out on training ride or not?

The Best Cycling Club in The South East

So what's taking you so long to join. Come on we're waiting!

Tour Of The Dengie Marshes: Nice One Sam!

Its easy to get blase' when ya look at all the great cycling pics on the net. There's been some great ones, I don't think too many will argue against Nicole Cooke's Olympic win in the Beijing rain. However on the British Road Racing scene this year there was just one standout picture for me - a shot of Sam Humpheson, a 1st cat Rider from London Dynamo. It was taken at the "The Tour Of The Dengie Marshes" (Hell of the East) They say a picture is worth a few sides of A4 copy and I think you can see why. According to the organisers "The Tour Of the Dengie Marshes" or Hell of The East is a race [held mainly] on unclassified single track farm roads. Not unlike Northern Flanders – narrow / twisting / little used and not regularly maintained. The steepest climb is over a railway bridge Vast open stretches , just above sea level , provide little shelter and should encourage "full on" racing. By all accounts it was a classic race - thankfully I wasn't there to testify to this. Muddy racing is definitely not my thing

"I can ride a bike with 1/2 a handlebar"

Hands up those of you that went riding last weekend. Despite the bad weather I did; and I rode my bike pretty intensively too. Admittedly I only got to see kitchen appliances and kitchen walls during the ride but at least I didn't get cold and wet. During my moderately intensive chest thumbing aerobic session commonly known as a 2 x 20 Stephanie popped into the kitchen to make a cup of tea. Eastenders was on TV, back door open - kitchen cold; me on Kylie, no chance of small talk blah blah blah sensibly Steph was soon gone. Anyway she knows Kylie and I like to be alone together.
This morning I heard a sharp snap while climbing up the Camden Road drag. Shit! somehow I kept my balance and continued riding with only half my handle bars. Descending was a little nerve-racking but I made it to work. Just. :-)